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On Dogs and Cats, and Unfortunately, Death

“‘It’s dreadful, isn’t it?'” “‘What? Death?'” “Yes. It makes everything else seem so horribly trivial. He doesn’t look human. When you look at him you can hardly persuade yourself that he’s ever been alive. It’s hard to think that not so very many years ago he was just a little boy tearing down the hill and flying a kite.'” (Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil.) I just walked over to open my window as it was getting hot in my living room. I was all ready to start working; I had my coffee ready, a handful of stolen mini eggs from my kids’ Easter baskets had just been eaten, and all that was left was to let in some fresh air to counteract the effects of blind-less south-facing windows. And then I stopped. My dogs were sitting, or lying, in the sun, right outside the window. It was strange because they never sit outside that particular window. And so I looked again, closer this time. There was something else lying at their feet. Something black and fuzzy and – Oh My God!! It was a cat. Asleep….no, no, no, no. Shit. Not a sleeping cat. There was a ratty looking, but formerly fuzzy-looking, dead cat lying at my dog’s feet. It was black, just like them. Well, it still is black. It’s weird. I want to speak of it in the past tense because it is in the past tense, now. […]

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Old Age and Marilyn Manson

Last night I went to a concert. What concert, you ask? Well, a Marilyn Manson concert. Was it good? Hell, yes! It was awesome! He was awesome! I absolutely loved it! You know what I didn’t love? The fact that when a young girl (about twelve years younger than me) was told I was going to the concert, she laughed […]

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Keep your Courage and Kindness, Cinderella, I’ll take Dignity and Self-Respect Instead!

For the past week and a half or so, I’ve been trying to figure out just why so many people are raving about Disney’s new movie, Cinderella. Not just trying to figure it out, per say, but actually angry and irritated that so many people have only good things to say about this movie. Am I really the only one who wants to take Chris Weitz and Kenneth Branagh (writer and director, respectively) along with all those involved and shake some sense into them? Was I the only one gagging when Lily James was coming down the palace steps with her head out to the side, flipping it about in some suggestion of grace and loveliness? Now, before I continue, let me be clear. I like Lily James. I like Cate Blanchett. I like Kenneth Branagh and practically everyone else who was involved in this movie. This is not some slight at them, this is more….how shall I say it…disappointment? Yes. I am disappointed in everyone involved in this movie. Yes, this is a Disney princess movie so I shouldn’t have expected better. But I watched Maleficent, and it was awesome, so I stupidly thought they would have done something awesome like that with this one. But they didn’t. Instead they bought into all the typical weak girly shit involved in princess movies. Oh, they pushed Courage and Kindness you say instead of beauty and loveliness? Yeah, they pushed it […]

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Parking is a Bitch

It’s too dark to take a decent picture so here it is, prompt number twelve: You have just swallowed your pride and done something you didn’t want to do. Your friend wants to know why. The two of you are driving around an almost-full parking garage looking for a space for the friend’s oversize pickup. Write the scene. “There’s one,” I say, pointing at a space at the end of the row. “That’s handicapped parking,” she replies as she drives right by the space. “Well, this truck’s pretty much handicapped,” I mumbled. “What?” “In case you haven’t noticed, it won’t fit anywhere. If physically challenged is the determining factor for being able to park in the handicap zone, you’ve pretty much managed that one.” I was getting sick of this truck, sick of driving up and down the rows of cars, the rows of full parking spots built only for tiny hybrids. They should have had a sign that said, “Toy Cars Only, all Full Sized Vehicles Are Shit Out of Luck. Stop Destroying the Environment,” at the entrance to the garage to ward off people like us. “Wow, you’re pissy today,” she snaps. “I wouldn’t be if you drove a normal human vehicle, not one for five hundred pound rednecks! We’ve been trying to park for half an hour already.” She turns the corner, starts going down another row. A row I’m pretty sure we’ve already been down. Yes, […]

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Damn Teenagers! Or, I mean, Damn Teenager!!

Okay, so I know I need to add the next post to my 642 Things, but I’d rather rant tonight. Yeah, yeah, I know you’re all desperately waiting for another entry (here is where I would enter in the word NOT, but I am not twelve years old anymore, but I will just hope you get the sarcasm instead), but I just gotta rage instead. Plus, what came up for this prompt ended up highly X-Rated and I can’t write it until I check into into wordpress’ rules on X-rated blogging. Maybe I should find an alternate site for the next post in the meantime…. But, I digress. What I wanted to do instead was bitch and complain about this little shit of a teller in Walmart. And yes, I’m calling some fifteen-year-old kid a little shit because he obviously stirred something up in me that I did not like. But let me start at the beginning…. I was on my way to through the till when I decided to pick up a treat for my children seeing as it’s spring break and they were all pouty that they had to go to karate (“It’s spring break! Why do we have to do anything!”). Originally, I had picked up mini eggs for them, but then thought to myself that maybe I shouldn’t always get them food as a reward. Maybe I should find other things so when they get older […]

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