Never, Never, Never Give Up

…even if your parents tell you you should! My daughter just came into my office, her lips trembling, tears threatening to spill. Why? Because she’d just looked up some puppies she wanted on the shelter website, only to discover, they were gone. No longer available perhaps? But here’s the thing. She was never allowed to get the puppies. She just […]

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Out With Expectation

This morning I was sitting in my chair in my little corner of my office, journaling. Sometimes I just randomly write down my thoughts and other times I puzzle through things that are bothering me. Today, it was the latter. I was trying to figure out why I’d been so frustrated and angry and disappointed and upset lately (yes, I know, I sound like I’ve just been a ton o’ fun, well, here’s a shocker: I haven’t). This morning I was going through all the things that I’d been promised, assured of, or even hoped for, that I knew were never going to happen. Yes, I was wallowing in self-pity, but I was upset. No, disappointed, because I’d gotten my hopes up for things that I knew just weren’t going to happen. Things that I’d now either have to figure out how to do myself (in some cases, a long shot but not impossible) or just give up on entirely. So then, I asked myself. If these were things that I cannot fix or change or build or adjust, if these things I wanted were outside my power to bring to fruition, did I want to sit here and let it make me miserable or did I want to figure out a way to move on from it. I was putting all my eggs in someone else’s basket waiting for them to do it for me instead of seeing what was […]

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Old Age and Marilyn Manson

Last night I went to a concert. What concert, you ask? Well, a Marilyn Manson concert. Was it good? Hell, yes! It was awesome! He was awesome! I absolutely loved it! You know what I didn’t love? The fact that when a young girl (about twelve years younger than me) was told I was going to the concert, she laughed […]

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Fatherhood vs Motherhood, or, The Hero and the Nothing

I just saw a post on Facebook where someone is making a new page, “Dads Winning at Fatherhood,” (or something like that, it’s probably best that I don’t know the exact wording in case they decide to attack me for hating their wonderful page idea.) and it angers me. The pages was simply pictures of dads playing with their kids, letting their daughter’s paint their nails, having a tea party, reading to their children on the subway, and so forth. Basically, pictures of dads just being dads. Parenting. Doing exactly what is expected of a parent. Things mothers do Every. Single. Day. No, I’m not asking for gratification. I’m not asking for a “Mom’s Winning at Fatherhood” page on Facebook, hell, I feel like I lose a lot more than I win. But why, when a father steps up and parent’s his child, as they should considering it is their kid too, is it a huge cause for celebration and when a mom does the same thing, it is overlooked? I am so sick and tired of the double standard between mothers and fathers. For instance: My husband started a company, a business (not by himself, if anyone thinks I’m trying to give him all the credit, I’m not) and there was absolutely no question that he would do it. He wanted something more out of his career and it was a no-brainer. Go for it, take a chance in life! Yay! […]

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Oh Monday, my Love

“You never know how much you love something until it’s gone.” “You never know what you had until you’ve lost it.” “You can’t appreciate what you’ve got until you no longer have it.” And so on, and so on. That can be such a depressing quote, or, it is so often used in sad situations. When a loved one dies, when a relationship is over, when the world ends and you no longer have the amenities of modern living. Or, like us this weekend, no power or water for 5 hours at -35. But it can also be so uplifting because you can truly appreciate the thing you love so much more when you get it back (assuming it can come back, so obviously I’m not talking about death or the apocalypse right now. Although, even that is open for discussion. Just not here, today.) Like, you forget how amazing a cold glass of water can taste until you’ve hiked through the desert for hours with an empty canteen. Or you forget how much you love your dog until he comes bounding up at you like he’s been waiting his whole lifetime for you, even if you’ve only been gone fifteen minutes. Or you forget how truly amazing air conditioning is until you’ve spent several hours at 40 degrees (celcius) with 100% humidity. In those cases, that quote can be pretty amazing. When you remember how much you really did love it. Like […]

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A Rather Unexpected Wake Up Call

I sat down to write this morning, or just now, and was caught up listening to the new Christmas playlist I’d made. So I figured, instead of working on my novel, I’d take the time to enjoy the music a little and write a blog instead. And then up came Chuck Wendig’s blog post of the morning and it left me so completely…well, I don’t even know. I’m sitting here stunned. Moved. You know that feeling when someone says something that stops you from continuing on as the ignoramus that you were?  It like you were all happy and ready to move forward, tail in hand, direct line established and then someone walks up, puts a blindfold around your eyes, spins you around about fifteen times and then pushes you forward saying, “There, go find the tail on that donkey now!” That’s how I feel. Like he spun me around just enough to lose my bearings. To take this life I’m living, that I think I’m pretty okay with, and make me wonder if I’m not seeing things clearly enough. And I take a great deal of pride in the fact that I try to see the world pretty equally, that I try to see things from both sides, have empathy for others. But then you read something like that and wonder, “Am I doing enough?” “Do I really see things from all sides?” “When have I been close-minded and too privileged […]

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