Huxley

Did anyone else catch the not so commonly used expression I used at the end of my last blog post?

I sure as hell didn’t.

As far as I was concerned, there are red-bellied cowards. Aren’t they the only kind?

Yeah, until I was informed that the saying is yellow-bellied…Yellow!

Whoops. But my screw up makes sense if you know me. I am the type of person who counts eggs before they hatch, not chickens, because why would you count chickens? Just as you should not keep all those aforementioned eggs in one basket. Or, in my case, do not keep all your fish in one basket. Because, who doesn’t keep their fish in baskets?

Yes, that’s right. I said that. I have also hit the hammer on the nail and the head on the hammer, things have cost me an arm and a foot, I have barked up the wrong forest, I have beat around the roses,  I have seen the tiger in the room, not an elephant, because really, how could an elephant even get through the door?

All of these and more have acquired me the nickname Huxley, for those of you who can even remember that movie (If you don’t, go watch it, it’s so good! If you like that kind of thing. Again, that’s only my opinion.). Demolition Man, circa 1993, with Sylvestor Stallone and Sandra Bullock, who plays this do-gooder cop who loves all the phrases and expressions from the nineties but never gets them right, as she is from the future and only hears them on the radio, never actually “getting” them.

So then, what is my excuse? You’d think as a budding writer, someone who wants to make their career out of the careful crafting of words, that I’d be able to get this right. Or at least fact check.

But how do you fact check something you are certain is already quite factual.

Robins have red bellies, hence, a red-bellied coward. Why I decided this phrase was based on birds or that Robins are cowards, I don’t know. I just did. And that is why there is one commonly used expression I never forget or screw up:

“You know what they say about Assume, don’t you?”

“It makes an ass out of U and ME!”

Cue laughter. Or at least mine because that one gets me every time.

But it’s true, isn’t it? We all just assume we know something and don’t bother to check if we’re right or not. We take something in as fact, carrying it around in our heads for long enough that we are certain it is true based on longevity alone. Or we read something online and just assume it’s true. Hell, at the end of my blog you might have read that line and thought the expression really was red-bellied. Look at the havoc I could have caused!

And that’s the problem. So many of these blogs on the internet, mine included, are taken as fact when we have no idea if anyone bothered to double check. Every day I am inundated with facebook articles and stories that are touted as fact but are as real as gold. Or is that Fool’s Gold? Hmm…

So lets stop the assumptions! Or in my case, think before I speak! Because the internet is making asses of us all. Or, wait a minute, I did that all on my own, without help from the internet. But you get my point, don’t you? What we think is true in our own minds might just be totally false. So watch what you say, or at least know who you’re getting what you’re saying from. And even then, your source might not be so accurate. I mean, come on, can anyone really live for three days and three nights in the belly of a whale? Hmm, Jonah? Not to mention the fact that all animals on earth are terribly inbred if they came from just two of everything…..

But I digress…Back to the past blog in which I was pretty damn sure I was being smart and witty and had my expressions bang on. Let me be an example to you all, what we think is true or know to be true, just might be a little warped from the inner workings of our mind. And that’s okay! That’s who we are, it’s probably just a good idea to check the validity of it all before opening your mouth, or in my case, clicking the publish button on a post! And once you’ve read that blog or article or heard your friend tell you the latest and greatest, it still might be a good idea to check your facts. Just cause you’ve heard it before doesn’t make it fact.

(For instance, know that anything that comes out of this blog could be totally and entirely false. Or, unfortunately, totally true. At least, almost always true when it involves some form of embarrassment on my part.)

So I will now put my tail between my knees and apologize for giving you the short end of the branch for screwing up my last post.

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